i am sure mine thinks its a piece of cake. he doesnt realise the hours i am spending trawling the net for a good deal, finding the perfect bridesmaid dress for his sister and niece, trying to find jobs for all his brothers so they feel part of the big day. doing the invites myself, wording the order of service, making the flower girl basket, finding the photographer etc etc. i dont mind doing this, i enjoy it. but i find it so patronising when he says its not much work. anyone elses fiance like that?
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Tags: Appreciate, Does, Effort, Feel, Fiance, Goes, Into, Other, That, Their
May 19th, 2009 at 3:30 pm
I know I feel the same way abou tmine, but then I think he probably doesn’t fully appreciate it because he isn’t doing all the work I am booking vendors, checking reviews, negiotiing prices, find the best for the cheapest etc. But just know that when he sees it all come together on the wedding day and gets to actually see all the work you put in, he will really apprecite you and everything then! (at least that’s what I am hoping for, lol) He just can’t really right now, because he doesn’t understand everything your doing! Congrats on the Wedding!
May 19th, 2009 at 3:30 pm
Most guys don’t consider all the small details that women do. He may also be a little emabrrassed that he couldn’t give you your dream wedding, and is holding in his happiness that you got it down because he doesn’t want to remind you of the small budget. He could also just not be thinking about it at all, the budget is now within his reach and everything is taken care of. Don’t be hurt if he didn’t consider you, guys really do think of things in a more straightforward way. The most important thing for him will be seeing you walk down the aisle.
May 19th, 2009 at 3:30 pm
Clearly, my finance too thinks this is a piece of cake. My lovely sisters are visiting trying to help, and he thinks that it is far too soon to be asking for assistance. We’re gettting married in October, and I have no wedding site, no officiant, no honeymoon, and no reception plans.
Basically I have the baker for the cake at this point.
Good luck to you! Best wishes.
May 19th, 2009 at 3:30 pm
I think just about every bride feels that! My husband was good about telling me every so often how nice the wedding was going to be, but he really had no clue of all the stuff I was organizing to make things nice for everyone. And that’s OK. Weddings are mostly a girl thing, and while it’s nice if the groom gets a little involved, it’s not realistic to expect them to get all excited like we do. They don’t dream about their wedding from the time they’re little boys.
May 19th, 2009 at 3:30 pm
LOL! Most men don’t care about weddings to be honest. All they want to do is show up, say “I do”, and then go on a honeymoon. And yes some of our husbands are ungrateful twits (including mine) when it comes to planning a nice wedding. I wish you much joy on your special day. Good luck.
May 19th, 2009 at 3:30 pm
I haven’t really had that problem. My fiance’ is always telling me what a good job I’m doing as we have a very small budget. If he wasn’t being appreciative I would give him more tasks to accomplish, so that he has to work as much as I do for our special day.
May 19th, 2009 at 3:30 pm
Yes mine is the same way…
He has said ” I don’t know why you are getting so stressed out it will be fine”
But you know as a girl we have been waiting for this day our whole lives we want it perfect!!
I think it’s just a guy thing
May 19th, 2009 at 3:30 pm
yup my fiance wants me to do all the planning.I ask him a question and hes like I dont know do what ever.I hate that.The only thing he agreed on me with so far is we’re we are having it.Men….
May 19th, 2009 at 3:30 pm
Maybe you just need to learn more about the male mind. They just don’t think about these types of things. Remember – men are from Mars, women are from Venus – two totally different types of creatures.
May 19th, 2009 at 3:30 pm
My fiance wants me to plan most things – as long as he has the food he wants and the honeymoon he wants he’s happy. Whenever I tell him about something he’s like “that’s nice!”
May 19th, 2009 at 3:30 pm
absolutly. he is jsut sitting backa nd letting me do the research and planning and doesnt understand why i get stressed!
May 19th, 2009 at 3:30 pm
Of course he doesn’t appreciate or care about it all, and he will stay sane because of it!
May 19th, 2009 at 3:30 pm
I do feel that a lot of men are like that during the wedding planning. However, my fiance knows that I have done a lot of researching for the wedding for vendors and put a lot of thought and effort in the process. I gave him the task to book our honeymoon so he feels involved since he loves planning our vacations. He brought up a good point that a wedding is one day but a marriage is a lifetime, and that he hopes that as a bride to put this much effort in the marriage as I have in the wedding itself would be wonderful, and I agree. Planning a “magical” wedding should be a fun and exciting time in a person’s life, and stressing doesn’t help, as I have come to realize.
May 19th, 2009 at 3:30 pm
He may not care about alot of those little details that are obviously important to you. Involve himmore in the wedding plans. If you are doing the invitations yourself, have him cut and tie the ribbons or something trivial. Ask him to find the photographer and to price around to see what their fees are.
He probably doesn’t eralize all the small things you are doing, since most men don’t care if they are part of the ceremony or not. Just let it go. You are the one who wants most of this stuff, so let it be. And try to delegate what you can to other people. Like the bridesmaid dresses- give them the colors and let them pick their own that coordinate together. Or at least let them get their own shoes and jewelry.
And I know you are on a budget (We all are!!), but don’t spend too many hours searching for a good deal. Check 3 or 4 places and if you don’t find a huge difference in prices, just do it. Your time and sanity are worth more than the few dollars you will save.
May 19th, 2009 at 3:30 pm
My fiance has no clue about all the effort I’ve put into planning a wedding. It’s not really on his radar, but that doesn’t bother me. He prefers dealing with guy stuff. But if he told me it’s not much work, that WOULD bother me. That is patronising and overtly unappreciative. I think you need to sit down and have a talk with him. List all the things you’re dealing with and try get him to agree to not claim you’re not doing much work.
If he sticks to his guns and continues to insist you’re not doing much work despite you telling him it upsets you when he says that, you are dealing with a more serious problem than a boneheaded remark–in that case you’re dealing with disrespect and verbal abuse.
May 19th, 2009 at 3:30 pm
Okay, this is coming from a ‘golden oldie’ lol (50-something gal) if you remember this you’ll always be alright in dealing with the male gender, especially most husbands. experienced ladies may correct me if I am wrong….
Men are like puppies as long as ..
1) their tummies are full
2) they have a warm place to sleep
3) they get ‘treats’ (wink)
4) and constant praise
5)..and never rub their noses in their ‘mistakes’…..
They are happy. The only three real needs a guy has is…
a warm place to sleep….food…sex. Not in that order, either. Reverse it for proper order, lol.
Wedding planning & understanding it just aint in the above line-up.
Wedding planning is just not in the male scheme of things….unless they want to be a wedding planner or are control freaks….guys don’t care about color schemes…flowers, that the invites echo the theme…..etc…..throw an all night ‘kegger’ as a reception and keep a steady supply of chips (crisps), dips, and nachos and the hubby writes it off as a success.
It’s us ladies that ‘get off’ on details….most guys don’t care if the napkins don’t match…many don’t even care if there are NO napkins…a shirt tail/sleeve will do…then there’s always the ol back of the hand swipe at the mouth with a brush across the pant’s leg……
so share/grouse to your ladies…guys are clueless when it comes to wedding preps and quite frankly we are better off them staying that way…Lord knows what the wedding day would be like if the FH had his way…..yikes! lol good luck.
…and I hope I gave you a laugh, Hon…..